Accepting Aging with Laughter with Diane Dean-Epps

Lisa [: 00:00:00

Welcome, listeners. I have a special guest on the phone with me today. Her name is Diane Dean Epps, and our topic is accepting Aging. Now, Diane has recently published a book called Bangs and Botox. She's going to tell us all about that title, My Aging Journey into through and Beyond Denial Fillers and Human Preservations Preservatives. See, I made us laugh already. Reservations. Did I get that title right? That's quite a title, Diane.

Lisa [: 00:00:36

Did I get it right?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:00:38

Yes, as I'm hearing you read it, I feel a little longer, but keep going, keep going.

Lisa [: 00:00:43

Yeah, I think that's it. I think that's it. Listen, welcome to Aging in Full Bloom. You wrote this book, and you promised to make us laugh today. And I think time and space always where we need to laugh. Laughter is good medicine, as they say, and there's so much truth to that. Before we talk about the book, Diane, tell us about you. Who are you and.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:01:10

Gonna want to time limit me, Lisa, on these? Because, you know, I'm one of those.

Lisa [: 00:01:15

Okay, so I know.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:01:17

So I'm a mama and a meanie. Mimi to the second power. I am a teach. And by trade, as well as my own humor, writing a sidebar. I'm the queen of multiple jobs that make me a minimum amount of money. And so I'm always accessing my Passion if bank account. So here I am with Bangs and Botox.

Lisa [: 00:01:43

Okay. Oh, my goodness. Okay, you were right when you promised you were going to make us laugh. I can tell that now. What in the world made you Bangs and Botox? What is that all about?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:01:57

I know. So hilarious, right? So, first of all, I had to do a lot of research on this book. So I had to age a few decades and then have the experience of looking in a mirror and realizing that things were happening that I can't control, you know, what's happening to my face or the weather. And I'm working on accepting those things. There are other things, but those are my top two. So as I was looking, I realized I was talking to my daughters one day about Arsenal, because my joke was, well, I can't afford not to age. And I told them, well, what I have in my arsenal are bangs. And so there began the journey.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:02:33

It's a kind of a family funny thing that is a party trick, is my daughter's thing for years. Decades. Let's go. And so, oddly enough, it's protected my forehead from the sun, the ravages of time. There's only, you know, in the elevens, I get very concerned. So between my Eyebrows. You know, I do pieces, but up above my eyebrows is a relatively pristine landscape. And so that's the bangs.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:03:01

And then the Botox part is, I. I'd be lying hardcore lion if I told you that I didn't. Go on, let me see what's out there that could. I can access and afford. So I did go out there and do the botulism, which is Botox. And so I talk about that in the book, what my experiences are with that and the. The fillers. I went into that.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:03:22

My face. Into a face I didn't quite recognize.

Lisa [: 00:03:25

Oh, my goodness. Okay, Diane, this prompts me to ask you. Well, first of all, you got me. You have me considering bangs, but we'll move past that. I'm not gonna do. I promise you that piece. At what point in your life, like, what were your clues that you were getting older?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:03:48

Well, I always say, you know, the mirror. And I mean, I knew I was getting older because the way the public interacts with me as you're aging, I started to realize that the kinds of comments I was getting. One of my first clues was I work out a lot, and I thoroughly. And so I'm in there with all manner of folks, and often I can be the oldest person in the room. And it seemed like I was getting complimented on the most innocuous things, like, good for you that you're out there working out there. You are. Your knees. Look at their.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:04:23

Look at them. You're working hard and you're sweating. I am so inspired by you. And I thought, what is happening? I'm impressing people by breathing. That was first.

Lisa [: 00:04:37

Fair enough. Fair enough. And now I'm not going to ask how old you are, but just give us a minute.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:04:42

You can.

Lisa [: 00:04:42

Okay. How old are you?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:04:44

No, I won't lie to you. I was lying. And that's in the book, how that went. Don't ask people to guess your age. Don't guess my.

Lisa [: 00:04:52

That's terrible.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:04:54

Well, it goes wrong. I am 66 years young. And so that's why I say that I now speak for the older trees as my. Not thinly the Lorax. So, yes, I'm 66.

Lisa [: 00:05:07

Okay. And how old were you when you started to feel like you were being treated differently? Like, ballpark?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:05:14

30.

Lisa [: 00:05:15

30. It's all relative, right? Okay. All right. So what do you do with that? What do you do with this realization that you're getting older?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:05:29

Well, for me, you know, it definitely. Humor is my coping mechanism, ones that I enjoy. And I've actually made a career off of it because I get a kick out of all sorts of humor that often is, you know, self deprecating humor where I kind of make fun of myself so that I don't go through this world a little too. So part of what is the whole process is the process of acceptance as we go along in age. I'll speak for myself. I had to make decisions as to what that was going to look like. And I'm the mom of daughters. And then of course, as a grandparent, wanted to be a female who had substance and a sense of humor and was showing a life that is one that, hey, when we're aging, there's things that are really good about that.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:06:19

You know, my supermodel window has probably closed and I might not be the hottest thing that walks into a room, but the benefit of all that is the flip side is that I, you know, have worked on my personality and so I'm probably would have been. Yeah, so that's, that's part of my plan is and well, I want to be well, I want to live in wellness and I want to live in joy. And so that acceptance was all part of this whole aging deal. There's great power in feeling like I've come into my own. I am this sassy person who cares very much for others. But you know what, Lisa? Here's a secret and don't tell anyone. Okay, here we go. Not everybody likes me.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:07:07

Yeah.

Lisa [: 00:07:08

You're kidding.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:07:09

Don't tell everybody. Yeah, so that kind of is part of my whole journey too is, you know, as we're rocking our rolling our Personas as we go, there's an acceptance for me that who this person is aging, I'm not everybody's cup of tea. And that was okay too.

Lisa [: 00:07:25

But when you were younger, you needed to be everybody's cup of tea.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:07:30

I feel like it. And I think some of you're trying to earn a living, so some of it is, you know, keeping yourself from starving is that, you know, you, you are trying to get along with people so that you can get hired for jobs and have things you want in life. And as you go along, maybe we're not so out. I shouldn't be using the universal the we. When I went along in life and I wasn't so desperate to get things, whatever those things might be, I found that there was great power in that as well. Is that, well, then I can be. There's just more grace and permission to be the authentic me that I am. And I'm, you know, I'm definitely I've got that side little sass.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:08:10

That is something that I'm okay with.

Lisa [: 00:08:14

Yeah. Well, I'll say this. We. And it will work for at least you and I in the statement.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:08:22

Lisa.

Lisa [: 00:08:22

I totally relate to that. Yeah. When you get older, you know, you care a little less. It doesn't mean you don't care. You still care. It's obsessed with it. And if everyone doesn't, you know, want to be invited to Christmas dinner, it's okay. We'll have dinner without it.

Lisa [: 00:08:40

We'll have a party. Yeah. Okay.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:08:43

So.

Lisa [: 00:08:44

So go through some denial, because that's in the title of the book, right?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:08:49

Yes. Yes.

Lisa [: 00:08:50

And so how long. And was there an epiphany? Was there a turning point where you thought, I just got to start accepting this, or do you. Was it gr.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:09:01

Yeah, it's process. I mean, it's like the book. It actually took me. I'm usually. When I write books. This is my seventh published book, and I usually write them pretty quickly. But this one, it. I needed to just.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:09:12

Time needed to pass. It took me three years to write back. And part of that was the journey. It was funny because the trajectory of the lens I was looking through at any given time was sort of different. Like, at first, it's like, you know, am I fighting? And then it's, am I flowing? And so started developing, really just looking at my life through the lens of all the stories that I've gathered up being me. And that those stories have very little to do with my face. Only in as much as my face shows that, well, this woman been around a while, you know, so it's that kind of thing. And so it's.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:09:48

It's process. I mean, truly, I'm not someone who was super hung up on necessarily how I look. I feel like if I'm. If I'm happy, then that's my best look, pretty much. If I look like AD Then. Then that's when my physical self probably isn't looking my best. And so I do like to feel my feelings, but I like to move on through. So, yeah, definitely process.

Lisa [: 00:10:09

Yeah. Yeah. And again, I relate to all of that, and I suspect there's Will as well, even though I have never been obsessed with my appearance. Um. Yeah, when I look in the mirror now, I'm noticing the lines. And sometimes I look, I. I'll catch my reflection when I'm getting in the. Dang, girl, you need to get some rest.

Lisa [: 00:10:30

And I don't. You know, I don't need to get any rest. So it's like, yeah, I know things are just a little different, but I'm still.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:10:37

No, I have.

Lisa [: 00:10:38

I'm still.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:10:39

And I have a great strategy, Lisa, is there's a just. Oh, I'll tell you listeners, here's what it is. There's a surefire way to look younger. Tell people to step back. You know, step back and I'm the farther away. I mean, I've been mistaken. You know, I'm a teacher, so it's pretty hilarious. I have things that happen in my line to get a coffee and I'll have students that are lined up behind me and I might have that moment where maybe they're kind of looking, going, oh, that's kind of a, you know, older woman maybe, who looks decent.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:11:07

And I turn around and it's like Mrs. D. You know, because, you know, from a little, from different angles. And then if you step back, I, you know, I often look about an hour or two younger than I am. And so that. That's basically it. And don't look in the side view mirror on your car. That's a real rookie error.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:11:26

Yeah, that one.

Lisa [: 00:11:27

And just so there's no confusion, step back is different than step off. Right. You're not. Yeah, you're being.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:11:34

Although I have, I do, I do feel sometimes people can step off, but no step back. Just take that physical distance and then hang out with nearsighted people. It is another thing. It's very successful.

Lisa [: 00:11:50

Okay, now, what is the main objective of this book, besides to make that. It is the main objective to make us laugh.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:11:59

You know what? I think it's to make us laugh. But there's. If, if y' all grace me with purchasing the book, you'll notice in there I have some serious interludes. I have some rants, and then I have a message. These faces that we earn and about really, you know, our last lined outlook on life is. Is. Is good. And so the purpose is really, you know, like looking that we connect.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:12:24

I think connection. On this topic, all of us are aging. You know, you quit producing Collagen when you're 21. I hate to tell all of us that, but it's true. That's how soon it is. So that's when the aging process really kicks in. And. And so it's about connecting, telling stories, lightening up and knowing that there's just so much more to the physical.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:12:45

But if you are out there doing any sort of fillers or Botox and all that, we don't also need to be judgy. I've had times Where I'm super judgy about things, everybody's journey is their own. I want us all to be healthy. That's my directive for myself. And so the choices I make these days are less about what it is I'm doing from a moral standpoint and more how does it impact my health? You know, I. I don't do. Because it doesn't do anything for my health. And let's face it, when I go to box, if I've, you know, had too much, you know, a box of wine, that's not going to go well.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:13:18

So, you know, all these choices are. Basically, we're all in this together and looking on the right stuff. And that's. That's not, you know, you can say that. Well, I just. It's all about being healthy. But, you know, you have days where, again, you know, I got that 20 times mirror magnification. And that was a day where I wasn't like, oh, it's just about the inside, the very compelling personality.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:13:42

And I was like, what the heck?

Lisa [: 00:13:45

You know, so anyway, yeah, maybe that was a bad choice, huh? That right. Okay, now here's what I want to say. Diane and I, we don't know each other, and this is the first time that we have spoken, but I can totally relate to everything you're saying. And I know we are not two anomalies that just crashed into each other.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:14:05

So.

Lisa [: 00:14:05

So there is truth here.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:14:08

Yes.

Lisa [: 00:14:09

Women and men just like us.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:14:12

Absolutely.

Lisa [: 00:14:13

At this particular age in our lives. Now, I want to know, though, I want you to share at least one rant. Share a rant with us. Tell us what that was all about.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:14:24

I mean, there's really. When you asked me the question about how did I know I was getting older? I mean, how did I not know I was getting older? Because again, it was the comments from the public at large and not really the people that you're necessarily close to. So I have a rant in there, and I don't have it. This is kind of funny when you write, you think, oh, well, can you just speak the rant? No, I'd have to look at the dang page. But it was about someone. I had a boss who told me, well, I was no spring chicken. And I was like, and there's a man. You know, he's men.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:14:54

I love you when you're listening. This is not something I'm not man bashing. He happened to be a male. But I was talking to a person who. He was fully into his 60s, and he's telling me that I'm not a spring chicken. And it was really. We weren't talking about chickens. Taking chickens to market, farming boutique farms.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:15:13

This was not the topic. The topic was my career and my goals. And he looked at me and said, well, you're no spring chicken. And I thought, well, that's helpful. So 15 years to come up with a rant. And there is. If you're interested in the rant, it's in the book. I can give you the page number.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:15:28

I'll get back to it shortly. But I tell him by using all animal idioms, I. It's all it uses, you know, I. And at the end, I say, you know, I may be in the autumn of my life, but I still have a lot of spring. Yeah. So that's in the book. I'll find the page because I know your viewer, your viewers. Nope, listener.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:15:52

Sorry, you guys. I do know what a podcast is. I will go ahead and get the page so I can give it to you while.

Lisa [: 00:15:59

Give it to before.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:02

Yeah, you keep talking and I'll find my own. Own stuff that I didn't memorize.

Lisa [: 00:16:07

Well, hey, listen, that's the beauty of. Well, I think that's the beauty of this podcast. It is impromptu. You do not send people questions. We're just having an honest conversation. And I think that's one of the aspects that people.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:19

I found it. I'm so excited that I found the page.

Lisa [: 00:16:23

All right.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:23

It's 207.

Lisa [: 00:16:26

207.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:28

Do you want me to rant? Do you want me to read it?

Lisa [: 00:16:30

Rant on, my dear. Rant on.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:32

Okay, here we go. I'm flipping to my own. But I love it when you book. You know, when you're doing stand up. I have to remember this stuff. So with the book, it's great. So I talk about how, you know the derogatory term for. You know that.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:45

So here's the rant. Incoming. Hold for rant. Listen, you. Oh, can I see rear end?

Lisa [: 00:16:52

Okay, okay.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:16:53

I'm going to take the bull by the horns and speak my truth before I fly the coop. I'm mad as a hornet. You're projecting your limitations on me. You've got bats in your belfry. If you think I'm going to agree with. Never ever tell someone they're not a spring chicken because it'll land you in the doghouse. You need to get off your high horse because the elephant in the room is your too much of a scaredy cat. Own dreams.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:17:21

At this late stage of the game, you're an old dog and we can't teach you any new tricks. If we could, it would be impulse control so that you clam up whenever you're tempted to offer up your unsolicited opinion. I'm 10 years to. Okay. I'm just happy to get that monkey off my back.

Lisa [: 00:17:40

Oh, my gosh. I'm quite sure had you said it, you would have also been unemployed.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:17:46

Well, yes, that would be. Threat of speaking your mind.

Lisa [: 00:17:51

Yes. Part of the consequence. Not saying it's not worth it. I'm just saying know the cons sequences, right?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:17:58

Yeah. Have your box of your goodies, your little pictures and your little chopstick all packed up. Invite you to exit the building. And you will lose your fob that gets you into the bathroom. So make sure you've used the bathroom before you rant. There's some other advice I'm giving you that's not in the book. Use the bathroom before you leave the premises when you.

Lisa [: 00:18:21

Just a free helpful hen, huh?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:18:23

I'm just trying to help the world, Lisa.

Lisa [: 00:18:25

Yeah, I understand. So your other books, what were they about?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:18:31

I had one. Not effing famous. Doesn't mean I'm not effing funny. It was actually about the fact that I've had some close calls with. With fame, not just meeting famous people, but was like, hey, we're gonna make you a star. And I'm like, yay. And then the next, you know, something happened on the Way to the Making of the Stars of Diane. So that's what that book is.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:18:54

We actually went on vacation the one time we went to Europe. So I actually talk a lot about Europe and I talk about one of my. My employment situations. That was five red flags. And I still. I still pressed on. You know, I'm nothing if not determined. So that's one of those maternal meanderings was my first book.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:19:14

It was back when I was a young. A younger. That was launched back when I had a radio person at a radio show and they recommended the book. And so off and running I went. And then I've written a few humorous mysteries and then one historical book about my father to. He was a prisoner of war in Nazi Germany. And so I wrote a duet book, essentially with a transcript because he's passed away for quite a few years now. So those are.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:19:44

Most of the time, it's humor for me. Yeah.

Lisa [: 00:19:49

And of course, your books are available on Amazon and anywhere you can typically buy a book. Yes, absolutely.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:19:56

If you're near me, they're in the trunk of my car. I'll meet you there. I have a kit that they sit in, get that visual. Right. But yes, they're on Amazon and the latest Bangs and Botox. I do feel like, well, I made a real effort, you know, so really it should be decent.

Lisa [: 00:20:13

A real effort in writing.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:20:17

I mean, I thought about fonts that we can all read. I thought, I have pool quotes. So if you, you know, if you're a speed reader and you're like, you know what books? I don't know. Not for me. I have pool quotes for you that you can just read about 40 things and out of 40, I'm going to guarantee that one will make you laugh.

Lisa [: 00:20:36

I do.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:20:37

Confident.

Lisa [: 00:20:38

I do not doubt it. And this Bangs and Botox, recently published this year. Yes.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:20:44

Yeah, it just. April 27th is when it went live. Hot off the presses. And. Yeah, and I'm out there now doing the, you know, social media. Gosh, social media, what a humbling. How many channels can you update? And I'm going to. I think three might be my limit.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:21:05

I went to TikTok. I. I'm still. I still need another nap because it reminded me so much, you know that friend that you love, but. But she has a lot to say with her and you gotta go home and take a nap.

Lisa [: 00:21:18

I do know that friend.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:21:20

Yeah. And they're darling and you're like, but I just can't. There's a lot coming. I might be that friend, Lisa. So that's how TikTok affect me. I go. And all of a sudden I'm being bombarded. I don't really know what I'm doing, so I'm not sure.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:21:33

I mean, I'd love to go viral and not like by having a virus like I normally do, so. But I don't know, maybe not TikTok for me. We'll see.

Lisa [: 00:21:45

Are you Facebook friendly?

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:21:47

I am. Well, I'm just friendly, but I am Facebook friendly. I'm on YouTube. I'm on Insta. See how cool I am? You know, don't say the whole thing. You have to do convo, short everything so that we can be relevant. And I'm on LinkedIn. So, you know, if you want to give me a job where I do nothing except for be funny and show up to meetings once every quarter.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:22:11

I'm your. I'm your woman. Reach out and connect. I've been looking for you. I've been looking for that kind of job.

Lisa [: 00:22:19

Well, you know what the world needs more Diane's, I can tell you that.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:22:23

Oh, I don't hear that often enough. Lisa, thank you.

Lisa [: 00:22:26

No, it's the truth. It's the truth. Said for, I mean, everybody wants to come on and talk about how they're embracing aging and then they want to sell you something. And of course we do want people to buy your book, that's for sure. But it's a one time purchase of 1295. Change your life here. And you are, you're living what you're talking about and I am. It's, it's evident in, in your energy and in the way you speak.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:22:55

Thank you.

Lisa [: 00:22:56

Closing thoughts.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:22:59

Oh, no, Lisa, you didn't say I'd have to have thoughts. I feel like I almost asked you if I need to prepare and that was. Well, you know, the closing thoughts are absolutely right. What Lisa said about it's all in our. And so, you know, all of this is an inside job. I mean, it's the inside affects the outside. And so for me, it's that I definitely at this point in my life want to be doing things that make me happy. And so whatever that might be.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:23:26

That sounds so. But a lot of times it incor, it incorporates saying a two letter word that I really didn't say a lot when I was younger and I mentioned I have two kids and the word is no, no. Because a lot of times the things we can do point in our life but we don't wanna. And you know what? I also, here's the other closing thought. If you always wanted to be an opera singer but you never did it, I say go for it. Right now. It doesn't matter the age. You know, we get to do what we want, how we want to.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:24:01

And that is definitely our journey. And we don't need to, you know, take a vote with our, you know, 10 closest friends and our 3,000 Facebook friends that no one remembers and see we do us. And that's. So my closing thoughts are I'm not going to do the Oprah tagline that she usually does, but I will say who you are authentically. Yes, please.

Lisa [: 00:24:24

I love it. I love it. Making us laugh.

Diane Dean Epps [: 00:24:28

Thank you for letting me do what it is I do, which sometimes is to make people laugh. Thank you.

Lisa [: 00:24:33

And really, you know what? What Diane is telling us listeners is it's okay to say no, do it more often. Do you make yourself happy, Figure out what. And sometimes you get to this age and you haven't even thought about what really makes me happy. So there's some reflection. But then make yourself happy. Do whatever makes you happy. Love you. Thank you for listening.

Lisa [: 00:24:58

Till next time. May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be forever at your back.